This Valentine’s day I’m reflecting on love. But, as much as I’d like to write on the things to look for in a significant other, or on the concept of loving yourself before anybody else does, I’ve been facing an ongoing dilemma with my life for the past couple years and it’s this:
What do I love doing most? And, can I make a career out of it?
So basically: what the heck am I doing with my life?
I’m talking about that passion for #GLamour this year. (Check out what my friends are writing about this Valentine’s Day using that hashtag!)
Alright so I’m a university student who enrolled herself into higher education for the purpose of figuring things out. Okay, to be honest though, that’s not where my mentality lay going into University. I chose to go to University because my grades were fit for it and because that’s what everyone told me to do if I wanted to find a job. There’s definitely stigma attached to the non-pursuing of a University or College degree, or worse… the Undecided Major.
But at this point I may as well have chosen “Undecided Major.” I’m trying to discover what I love through an academic program that allows me to explore my options, right? I’m not set on anything under the name of a French Studies major. I didn’t sell my soul to anyone, yet (I don’t plan on it).
I took French because I knew it would benefit me should I choose to become a teacher or should I choose to travel the world, and, well, I like the language.
Just last semester though, I added a Sociology minor to my degree. I realized I love learning about people and social interaction, but not solely through the microscope of French, so I branched out. Back in first year, I probably didn’t think of doing that.
This decision-making, though, is happening concurrently with my need to satisfy all my million passions and callings in life. All I know at this point is that I have a vision for the future and a love for the world that is enough to keep me moving forward and explore those passions.
But, when so many phones are ringing… how do you know which one to pick up first?
Well. There’s only one thing you can do.
All of them. One at a time.
Pick up the first call. Don’t like the sound of it? Hang up.
Call #2: offers you the opportunity to learn more about yourself. Respond to it.
Later down the line you realize you’ve learned everything you could within this call… thank it, then drop it.
Next call; offers you joy, peace, and the dream you’ve always thought you wanted. Answer it. Dwell in it for a while.
Realize it’s not actually what you wanted? Because we’re human and what we want is sometimes not what we need: d r o p i t.
On to the next.
In the contract you signed when you turned 20 (let’s imagine you did), it said these are the years you are allowed to make mistakes. Allowed to change your mind. Allowed to take a step back and reevaluate your life.
I went to a leadership summit this past Friday (shoutout to Glendon’s Lion’s Den and collaborators for hosting it) and I listened to Marjorie Malpass talk about how our non-decisiveness is actually indifference. So, when we are procrastinating on making decisions for our lives, other people will do it for us. And, I don’t know about you, but I was given a personhood that’s different from anybody else’s so you better believe I’m going to honour it and respect it by making decisions for it, since I know it best.
Saying “yes” to so many opportunities in the past has brought me closer to figuring out what I love to do, even though some ended up as failures.
I got involved in French: realized it’s something I’m good at but not necessarily something I will pursue as my calling in life since I constantly find myself prioritizing other passions over it.
I got involved in politics: realized I didn’t enjoy the environment, decided to watch from afar and vote in the comfort of my distance, instead of being at the front lines.
I got involved in teaching: realized it’s fulfilling (and financial security is a bonus) so I will pursue it until I find something that makes me wake up earlier than I already do when I have to teach.
I got involved in blogging: realized I absolutely loved it so this is a testament to it.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Branch out, have a plan A, a plan B, and go for it. Failing hard means only getting closer to succeeding hard.
And personally, I believe that I’m exactly where I am supposed to be for the purpose of growth. God guides me, and recentres me when I stray away like the lost sheep He said I would be. Jesus leaves the 99 to seek me out in order to recollect me into his purpose for my life, and I will rest in that.
So, I may be totally lost as a university student, and I may make mistakes, but boy am I ever glad it’s normal.
I hope you find the peace at this “call centre”! And if the only peace you find is in knowing you are not alone, that is enough to let you know you are going to be okay!
Answer the phone, your next “calling” is calling.
P.S. Happy (early) Valentine’s Day everyone!! I hope you have fun exploring what you love doing most. And hey, if that’s spending time with your significant other this week, Happy Valentine’s to them too! ❤
Until next week,
Featured Photo by ThinkGrowProsper on Instagram.
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