Before I make God any promises for 2018, I’d like to first ask for His forgiveness for neglecting Him in 2017.
Sorry about that time(s) I doubted your plan. I shouldn’t have written Jeremiah 29:11 in my high school yearbook outro if I wasn’t planning on believing in it.
Some context for anyone who hasn’t heard my conversations with God (I’m glad you haven’t though): I started off 2017 by reading my Bible every single day, delving deep into His word, making notes on the pages, questioning everything, and noticing His presence in my every day life. But the same way you drift from a good friend because your schedules don’t align, or you’ve forgotten how to talk to them, or because you’re doubting your relationship, I drifted from one of my best.
The good news is that I have faith in a God who waits for me to realize the barrier I created for myself with no hard feelings.
I can’t blame the distance from Him on anybody or anything but myself; I made bad decisions. After getting involved in multiple things that didn’t serve my purpose this year, a day of giving up on Jesus turned into two, then three, and then a week, a month, and all of a sudden I found myself in this place that I was quite frankly in denial about.
I lost myself when I chased doors that looked so shiny, forgetting that not all that glitters is gold. I thought it was what God wanted me to pursue at the time so that I could reach the potential He saw in me, and work on the promises He had shook hands with me for to glorify Him in the end.
For example, I held a position on student government at school then quit months later. I had forgotten that I find my true joy and strength in God by going out and actually helping people with my own two hands, whether that’d be spending time with kids, serving in church, or even writing to encourage others, and not through motion passing or campaigning.
Disclaimer: some people thrive in politics and are given the means or platforms to make a difference through this so I’d like to make it clear that I am not discrediting anybody else’s endeavours. Everyone should run for a position in government at least once in their life time because wow I don’t know what else would teach you about the “real world” better than this.
I thank God not only for showing me this path, but for showing me that it’s not one I’m going to find Him in.
Now I’d ask myself why God couldn’t just close the door on many opportunities and circumstances before I got hurt or before I drifted from Him. I reckon after reflecting on the year that He buries us in soil (aka uncomfortable and dirty situations) so that we can bloom in due time. We are meant to serve others the way flowers serve as beauty and plants serve as crops, but we have to sprout in soil. It’s only regrettable that I didn’t realize this sooner since I got so busy doing God’s work that I forgot I was doing it for Him.
Thank God I talk to a heavenly father who loves me for who I am though and not what I do – like a parent who does not love their child for what they do for them, but who loves them because they’re theirs. So as broken as I may be, as lost, as doubtful, ashamed, hurtful, and impatient as I may be, He is always there waiting for me to seek Him out, not solely in deeds – but in faith, which is believing the unseen. I have to constantly remind myself this.
So for the past couple years, I’ve been writing a #OneWord365 as a summary of my resolutions for the New Year and reminder of my goals – one word that I can always go back to that can keep me in check.
This year, I’m choosing the word God. First of all, I’ve always been fearful of speaking on my faith on the blog because I feared judgement. This is a backdrop to my 2018 “do one thing you’re afraid of doing everyday” resolution. Second of all, I’m so excited to declare that God will be at the forefront of everything this year because it will keep me accountable for staying true to my values and trusting the process, despite my falls and failures. I cannot wait to see what this year will hold as I turn to God everyday in gratitude and expectations for promises finished.
So even though I’m trying to eat healthy, sleep better, pace myself, and be more selfless, I think trusting God will help me work on each resolution, one by one by His grace, through faith. I will reach out in prayer before I take action. I will ask myself that Sunday school question everyday: what would Jesus do? And, I will speak truth to myself on the daily as I look at the world through God’s eyes. I can’t wait.
I’m wishing you all a wonderful new year, where ever in the world you are right now. I hope this one is the best yet and may you look back on the year to see how much you’ve grown and learned. I love you, and I’m rooting for you.
P.S. If you have advice about keeping Jesus at the centre of my 2018, please leave a comment or shoot me a message! I’d love to be inspired.
2 Corinthians 5:17
*Featured Image: @instagodministries on Instagram
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